a little of this an' a little of that :)

All Iz Well

2012-01-22T23:10:00.003-05:00

Coincidentally my last post was also about a very interesting movie with Jeeva as lead actor. And now after watching Nanban, even if I cannot say he is a the lead actor, he definitely has done a good job for the role he was assigned.

Yes, of course, it is the all famous Amir's 3 Idiots which was remade (is that the term for a movie made the same to the dot but for the language and actors ?) in Tamil. And of course, like the general junta, I was concerned having Vijay in the lead role (given his recent mass productions, one cannot be blamed), but really Shankar has worked magic in getting Vijay to underplay his usual act.

Am definitely glad I watched this version - finally understood many a dialog I could not follow in Hindi :D And all my worries of 3 Idiots being spoiled in Tamil, rest in peace with Shankar!! Vijay not being Vijay, Jeeva just making the appearance of Farhan Aktar and Srikanth playing the cool, yet not so cool dude - each has contributed just the needed essence to bring out the crux of the movie - a good Tamil replica of 3 Idiots. Perhaps if I had not watched and been in love with the original so much, I would have liked this movie a lot too!!

Illeana - varewah - anga hips irka illaya ? hmmmmm... :P Anyways, she had played her part to the best also - and the good masala song needs some credit. Satyaraj as usual has very good screen presence and given a very decent Virus impression.

A very filmy, yet hard to portray climax scene, was depicted with needed gravity and drama - very impressive work. Music is the only drawback, even if not as good as 3 idiots, could have been much better - Harris Jayaraj - big disappointment (but given that he has not been great with earlier Shankar movies, I would think it is a huge influence from the director).

All said and done, the core motive of the movie - do what you love most and life would be a success - did it come out and produce an effect as much as the original movie did? I would think my opinion on that would be biased without doubt, so I leave it to the readers interpretation.

On another note, I would think Mayakkam Enna also portrayed a similar concept, but at a different level. Strive to work hard with confidence and love what you do, and do it with utmost interest, and success will come chasing you.

All in all - All Iz Well :) See you all in a review of another awe-inspiring movie.

Ko - finally a good tamil movie in say - ages ?

2011-04-25T02:10:00.002-04:00

Home with the satisfaction of having watched a really good and sensible movie in a long time !! Amidst many movies of similar genre, this one has something unique to add to the already crisp screenplay. Also the timing of the release just adds to the effect (TN elections just went by and the Anna Hazare movement to name a few). Ko- a tamil movie sans hero worship, male chauvenism, melodrama and cliched but highly misinterpreted depiction of love.

Politics is inevitable and one needs to play along regardless of being in a government office or the office that governs the country - the core concept - a practical outlook! Every character portrays what their convictions are pretty clearly but for the protagonist, which I believe, is left to the audience interpretation. The friction between the thought process of the hero with his girlfriend towards the end is worth an appreciation, esp in a movie arena where most female lead roles are portrayed as just another puppet in the hero's hands.

Amidst lack of accountable, transparent and efficient politics, Ko delineates a hypothetical and ideal political scenario with nuances bound to happen in any such pursuit. Probably inspired by the upraisal of youth driven Lok Paritran or Bharat Punarnirman Dal parties in recent times, definitely this flick would serve an eye opener(if not at least as a source of information)to the communities which failed to have an exposure to such political dimensions.

The one thing that makes me happy is that the storyline plays the hero of the movie - and no message is intended to be taken home, unless one would want to !! And any real time depictions have been minimized shifting the focus to other imminent issues which could be handled given the ideal conditions. Also glad to see the two political antagonists(literally goons) being underplayed yet their presence not being lost.

The cast have portrayed their roles with just the needed essence. Good music and exotic locations prove a visual treat(as a sidenote definitely inspired me to get an SLR :) ) Could have done much better with cutting short a few extended fight sequences and a couple of untimely songs. In all, Ko casually encapsulates the vox populi in a strong screenplay identifying itself with its audience - would give a 8/10 !!

Limitless

2011-03-21T10:49:00.000-04:00

Here I am, on a Monday morning, tonnes of work staring at me, millions of years left to live and yet a very short day ahead !! Sometimes you know all you have to do is just get started, but that seems like impossible !! phew !!

How many of us know what it is like to be the complete form of ourselves ? - I would like to see that !! And wish it would not take the energy drink or caffeine or a medicine to bring it out !! Run as fast as I can, do math faster than the fastest supercomputer, think and process faster and with utmost logic, knowledge and intelligence all combined, learn quickly, grasp and observe every detail around me, mega memory - that lives longer than I do and yet have the best of fun possible!!

When is that day going to come when I feel complete the way I want to be and realize I have lived my life ? Should only wait and see or dream and wait !!

Infinite Loop

2011-03-15T01:19:00.000-04:00

Just when u think u are goin straight, comes the cynic, tells u ur wrong, and goes away. The turns made as such, now shaped into not so a defined one. Logic seems the easy way out. But if purely logic were to lead you away, what defines if you are lead astray ? If the focal point is where we are headed, how do we find ourselves in the same state as the start with miniscule deviation - so was all this treading along a single loop ?

I know its not Father's Day !!

2011-03-15T01:15:00.002-04:00

What are the odds for a girl, to find someone, who is more like her father ? - daughters are the little princesses of their doting fathers and fathers are the first boyfriend for any girl !! Her first crush, love and the one who knows how to make her smile. The first guy to get her roses, chocolates and even a ring !! Is there an equivalent to playing with one's dad in the beach, tightly hugging him in a bike ride, stealing a trip from mom to the ice cream shop with dad as accomplice ? He has always been there and would always be. So to all the guys reading this - you are not the first in the life of your girl !!
A Dad never ages in his little girl's memories !!

A Pasteurized Mind

2010-12-01T22:28:00.000-05:00

One would wonder what this is all about ~ its just a note to myself on the most happening past few weeks of lyfe ~ the time period where peak of happiness and melancholy were sinusoidal, where all i want and all i never would want were equally distributed, where friends and strangers were just the same and mind finally ends up in a state now called 'blank'.

The precursors were pretty subtle and oddly instincts and intuitions went void. All that was expected was fun, laughter and a bleak silence within ;accomplice to these were many. Leave alone external entities ~ the self surprises given ~ tremendous ones !!

Depth of certain relationships, shallowness of certain attitudes, intensity of certain bondings, strength of certain thoughts, virility of certain beliefs ~ least of the most I can mention ~ and yeah the time given was less than the time moon takes to cycle the earth !!

Live the moment was the most valuable lesson learnt and invariably forced to implement to remain sane. Prioritize the priorities ~ an episode that served a blessing in disguise. Someone somewhere said 'lyfe' would be an adventure ~ never expected this roll-a-coasta adventure.

Ground zero ~ ripped off and scattered around is fragments of one, putting together pieces to make picture perfect or compositing into trash lies in the hands of the architect. And finally its time for some reality check !!

Little of this and little of that :)

2010-10-19T00:00:00.000-04:00

Feel of a new melody
Waking up to friends chit chatting at the foot of your bed
Morning warm sun on a Sunday
4pm smell of coffee
Freshly painted room
BiCycle ride to a flower shop
5min sleep before waking up for the Day
Late night chai
A mild movie
Watching an afternoon movie on television
And falling asleep on the couch
Pointless laughter with friends
An unexpected text in wee hours of the night
Making a bad movie most memorable with deep meaningless discussions while watching
Reading Archies with a bar of chocolate

Please add your little joys too here and make it a point to never miss a chance to enjoy them :)

Next......

2010-10-17T19:08:00.000-04:00

Shuffle is my favorite option on a music player... radio keeps me awake as long as i can... in monopoly I would any day go for 'chance' than just taking the normal route... yeah - I am open to surprises - be it pleasant or not !! Having the next ten years, say even ten days planned, is not an option even if the tenth day is going to be End of Days !!

"அடுத்த விநாடி ஒழித்து வைத்திருக்கும் அச்சிர்யங்கள் ஏராளம்"
Every new moment holds int it a surprise for you

Dreams take you where you want to be - but having many and the suspense of which one is going to come true makes the path just scintillating :) Never have I calculated the amount of cash in my purse, always expecting some non-existent cash to show up for a little treat :D Meeting new people everyday - and making friends without a second thought - has been my way of life for years now !! Life is a beauty and the Universe has unlimited joys to offer - every moment is a miracle and I would give anything to not know what it has in store for me !! Live the moment utmost - chuck the past - forget the future - and all u have is a little yourself in hand ~ how does it feel - I would say smile :)

gunjasa hai koi iktaara

2010-09-17T02:31:00.001-04:00

Long over due watch - Wake Up Sid ~ Definitely was a Wake Up Vis & get to blogging !! :)

How I fit in the movie - journalism is one on my list of future dreams, & new gurl in new city - hello am all in there !! :D

Aisha Bannerji(Konkana Sen Sharma) for sure looks journalist and has this calm confidence about her and an 'i know what am doing' air about her. Her kurti's were typical of any media person you come across - be it Chennai, Delhi or Mumbai !! She definitely must try NDTV in case she runs out of movies someday.

And Ranbir Kapoor - has tried something related to acting as Sid.. cant really blame his cute face for being cast in movies. Man how tall is he and poor Aisha needs to crane her neck every time she hugs Sid :P

The movie was in good pace till Aisha strangely falls for Sid - which could possibly have never happened if they did not happen to share the same house. After Sid leaves, apparently they realize - typical Indian movie style - they are in love with each other. Would rather categorize it as getting used to living with each other than love! It was pretty obvious two people, good friends, living together, at some point of time would think they like each other... but going further matters more than just realizing the liking for each other !! I do not see any reason what draws Aisha to Sid and not the hot boss :) Likewise for Sid - y not the cute project mate ?

Could not accept them both just acknowledging their blunt love for each other as an ending - is it so necessary that Aish should only fall in love with Sid - whose gonna lose if we end the movie with a couple of couples here and tend to be less cliched?

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy, no more comments can add to their music. Art direction - simple and classy !! Though the movie did seem little immature it was pretty thought provoking on how one can decorate their apartment. And yeah definitely a lively movie and good break from a nerve wrecking work day !!

kannil dhagam theerumo mitra.....

2010-05-17T00:17:00.002-04:00

what is it that you most want in Life that you do not want to have it for fear of losing once you get it !! sometimes all you wanted would be right there - hard earned and never to have regretted - yet the very minute you have it in your life, just then you realize u wanna get out of it right away!!
except in memories, its always now and only now - but it takes a lifetime to realize that 'now' !! how many still love and live in the past ? either its a dream about the future or a heartbreak of the past! a glorious past or a fearful future. wat you see was wat was an infinitesimal portion of a second earlier. wat we see now is only wat was and never wat is !! then wat exactly is wat is ?? I AM WAT Is !!! wat goes on in your mind now is wat really wat is now.
universe weaves its own web for every being. is wat u wanted wat u are now ? but the mind works itself to believe its at its best any given moment and takes you where the universe has predestined you to be. so all you got to do is just BE !! just Being !!! but if am just Being and others on earth are also just Being, then ?
you are not given your entire life in your hands. u are just given your now. that is when, when you get wat you wanted, you realize the now you wanted all along, is no longer wat you want! its all a matter of moving forward into the next moment.
sometimes it feels like, your life is a standstill, and everything around just keeps going at its own fast pace. regardless of how you react to it, time just moves gracefully and all it expects from you is to BE !!!

Asal vs Vettaikaran

2010-04-12T14:11:00.003-04:00

just a random note to give my blogging a kick start again....

of late i have been highly irritated by one thing - Tamil movies especially the latest ones.

With much happiness I went to watch a movie in India and ended up in 'theeratha vilayattu pillai'. That was the first time in life i ever wanted to meet a director or an actor to appreciate their film making. I wanted to honor them so much that they don feel the need to take another movie in all their life - awful, horrible, silly, immature, predictable, clichéd and what not. Could there be a worser depiction of a hero personality ?? Damn what did they even think of the audience. Did they think that all women were only looks and no brains.. archaic dialogs - for how many more years does the Tamil industry think portraying a guy who goes around giving advice to women as heroism ?? It was a very poor adaptation of Teulgu movie 'Chukalo Chandrudu'. The hero goes in for a ride with three women of which he finally chooses one and that too not out of love, but pity. Thanks to the movies that usually give the worst impression of love and relationship. It just adds more color to the already highly hypocrite Tamil society. I totally gave up hope expecting the female protagonists to show pea size intelligence when the male lead was himself a s***er on earth !! If ever the male lead was trying to act cool or smart, he better have done that wearing a board around his neck saying so !! Who on earth wears two hoodies in hot Chennai with one being pink and the other a darker version of mauve combination ?? Vishal was trying a very bad imitation of Vijay(who is in himself less than a moderate actor in recent times). I just hope the director or actor use a little of the god given brain to come up with decent movies which do not focus on jobless, aimless, senseless, brainless, good for nothing guys as center of action ( even tho we accept with noble heart their dirty and horrendous appearances combined with eye blinding dressing sense )

My second experiment over leisure time(which is pretty much the entire semester) was to figure out which was worst of the two worse movies - 'Vetaikaran' or 'Asal'. Both supposedly being from box office leads and hot female cast, yet again Vijay and Ajit did not fail to disappoint me in their regretful movie making !! Asal (aka Billa2) could have just re-released Billa and just morphed Sameer Reddy and Bhavana for Namitha and Nayanthara. Do you know how it feels like during exam preparation, you get to a lesson you already know or is same as another one you learnt, you would want to just skim through the pages and say am done - thats the exact feeling i got. I did not want to watch the movie but still felt little things here and there are different so must watch. Trust me it was such a pain. What is the matter with Ajit - does he think redoing the same kind of roles saves time in homework on acting ?? And in the end he ends up with Bhavana just for the sake of a happy ending while all through the first half he is supposedly romancing Sameera. Just being a strong person does not call for Sameera being ditched in the end while the only thing Bhavana shows is pure ignorance and dumbness !! Ultimately it was such a lame, hi-fi(supposedly) repetition of a previously OK movie.

However I should say Vetaikaran took me by surprise in being much watchable than Asal. Despite having all the drawbacks as Asal, it lacked the mundane boredom especially for one who watched Asal right before watching this one. Vijay escapes most movies by the little humor he tries to bring out. There there, I just mentioned it was a teeny tiny percent tolerable which doesn't call it a good movie in any case. I remember as a child watching the negative role guy, some two decades ago, performing another negative role, but his tone and intonation, modulation, dialog delivery, body language, why even his hairstyle has stayed intact for years now !! Does that mean I must be happy that Tamil movies are consistent or sad that there is shown very little improvement in recent years ??? Yet again the movie was predictable, requires no intelligence on the directors part to film, cause most scenes are just poor replicas of old movies probably by Vijay himself.

I obviously cannot blame the entire Tamil film making for these ill made movies, however they also represent a class of thinking and am terribly worried at the rate at which these movies are made. Also I still do not understand why any movie considered good must be related to so much pathos that in the end you would feel so guilty of any happiness you have in life. Except for a handful movies very few concentrate on focusing anything positive about the world or life. It is at these times I really feel we are really god gifted to have movie makers like mani ratnam or venkat prabhu or gautam menon (and very few more) down south !!

2009-09-17T02:13:00.001-04:00

“The beginning is the most important part of the work” - Plato

Thoughts

2009-07-06T21:14:00.001-04:00

Being a child is not an option...but staying one is your choice....it is not necessary to make millions to find joy !!! even the smallest of things.. such as finding an empty seat in a crowded metro.. an empty parking lot.. a clean restroom.. free cookies.. smile from a stranger...soft spoken shop keeper... and wat not ??? it all lies out there.. its just our work to find it !! have u seen a child cribbing for doing something wrong - such as a broken doll?? the magnitude might seem petty to grown ups.. but for that kid - she has lost her best friend !!! Their sorrows last for barely something called a moment... cos thats the age when ur mind is fresh and gets easily influenced by other beauties of earth - such as a colorful butterfly battling its beautiful wings around the garden.... or even a tapeworm wriggling its way into its mud house !! There is no such thing in life that is worth even a momentary depression or desperation.. every minute is precious.. Even a mass destruction - what is the use of crying over it?? rather spend that time in thinking of ways to help those in trouble and ways to prevent such misfortunes from happening.. Children come out with new ideas in a jiffy.. Impossible is never an option to them !! Anyone who has made a mark on earth would still have his child like attitude hovering deep in his personality..

Ok now.. enuff of that.. let me tel you some moments that did bring me joy irrespective of what circumstance i was in or which way my life was taking me........

Till a little earlier.. i did know one kind of love that existed... and now i am elated to learn of its existence and feel grateful to all circumstances that lead me to that very moment :)

In a crowded metro myself and one other person whom I have known for close to 6 years now(man time does fly)... it is very strange that sometimes despite being with people for years.. it takes only a few minutes to understand them.. but those minutes dont come that easily !!! As was the case with us... we have had unforgettable memories in the past.. not to mention the mischiefs and comedy we have done together rite from the day we met in a place now called haven, outside the city of chennai in a remote desert like area !! But this was nothing like b4 !!!

We both just tried to find some space to fit ourselves in the entire crowd near the doors of the metro..and fortunately i found some hold to cling on... as for her.. it was my little pinky that she held to... poised herself in that ever jerking rail... those few minutes.. gave me that unforgettable joy in my mind.. holding on to her the least way possible.. and listening to a song which seemed to play at the rite time... "kalluri malarae" from one good movie "snegithiyae" (translates as "my friend")... those few minutes.. i felt so responsible for her.. loved her with all my heart... and was overjoyed by something that seemed so mutual between us !!! That child i saw in her those few minutes brot out the long gone child in me... Only then i realised.. it is not necessary to be lovers to express any form of love... just a little deed for a close one is also enuff to bring out that love which buries itself deep within oneself and usually refuses to show up at ease !!! Yeah that moment... is something i would like to hold on in my memory forever !!!

Five rupees Two Years and Three drops of Tears

2009-06-23T17:28:00.001-04:00

Isn't it a wonder how time flows non chalantly carrying our lives in its own path carving a beauty deep within us ?? Everyone claims time is flying at great speed.. is there a way to hold on to one moment for eternity and cherish in that joy forever ?? Pictures of old friends.. videos of next door babies(now turned teens).. memories of places u visited with daddy... thoughts of far living parents.... in addition to these lovely beautiful intimate thoughts, added, yet another thought to me today... the moment i wish i could go back in time and relive.. not because of the joy i got from it.. but the shame that came upon me.. upon the human in me... that very moment...

It was the time when my parents were the happiest of all and took immense pride in showing off their daughter to be a Software Engineer in the IT industry which had turned the lives of millions in India into a haven !! People from all stratas of the society were benefitted and could find an opportunity in the industry which so generously contributed to the revenue system also!! I was also happy - finally i am able to support myself... all my hardwork had finally paid off... I am a great person as i am also a part of the so benevolent industry and also add to nurturing the lives of million others !! I was also proud of myself - y wudn i be..am a better person now as a IT professional in a multinational.. not everyone gets that opportunity as easily as i got !!

Now... it was one of those days that I had to shuttle between my office and the place i board my bus.... a very sunny day outside.. and yeah me in the comforts of my IT firm was really tired and exhausted being out for just haf an hour - one other environment every IT person in chennai gets familiar is with "share-auto".. wow i used to love travelling by it.. have met many interesting characteres en route my bus stop... that particular day also.. i did meet one..

Her name was Radha(keepsake)... in her early 50's.. tall and huge built with streaks of grey and white in her now aging thin black hair... in a dull coloured polyester saree and a high knotted hair.. I couldn help notice the respect IT professionals get from their older generations ..esp people we meet off the streets.. I ahve enjoyed that respect tooo... the same i got from Radha.. somehow i likes her instinctively...thats partly because she so much took after my granmom (the real Radha)..

She gave me this broad smile and instantly our conversation clicked off... for people who arent aware of share auto scenarios... its a small three wheeled vehicle made to carry max 4 or 5 people.. but usually close to 10 are made to sit..have always wondered how the auto would expand a wee bit to let an extra traveller everytime... the same way we were asked to scooch by our respectable auto driver in order to accomodate 2 other passengers... unfortunately we weren able to - courtesy.. as i mentioned before, Radha was huge enuff to occupy most part of the vehicle... this scenario is nothing new in our road life... unfortunately for Radha... our driver was in a very choleric mood and offended Radha and her appearance... and to my surprise she dint seem the belligerent look she had... such a soft-natured woman.... turned towards me for solace.. but to my shame.. i still wonder y i was not able to bring myself to speak for her or at least to her.. to comfort her in a scene of social embarassment which could have happened to anybody.. why was my tongue tied and why did my eyes avoid her imploring look ????

that is one regretful moment i had to face... not Radha.. any fellow human at that state.. i must have or at least tried to comfort them... its not a great mishap to lend my help.. but it was a little courtesy every human is entitled to... i would agree with the auto driver.. he is a man with little or no education.. a family to support.. his daily earnings account to the food his family can afford that nite(which mite be their only meal a day).. a couple of extra passengers would only add a two 5 rupees to his already trivial daily earning.. can life style be accounted for forgetting the little human values ??? forget him... can i - the person who enjoyed the respect unknown strangers paid me, that which i earned by doing nothing but just study the little i can and make some money... can i ignore a fellow human's call for the teeniest courtesy?? i still wonder y i refused to show that petty care to a stranger !!! her misty eyes still remain vivid in my memories... can i undo this ignominious past of mine in anyway ??

For those who do not waste time in FaceBook - 'One Life, One World - she loves every bit of them'

2009-02-22T03:29:00.001-05:00

after much search about how to write a note in fb, here comes mine........

1. I wrote 40 weird, out-of-the-world wishes in my moral science class, while my entire class was thinking hard to write hardly 3!!! ~ whimsical am i!!!

2. Not just my wishes - my moods, taste buds, interests, liking, love, hate, goals........ everything about me change every moment i live.

3. I contradict myself in many ways - and yes have been a great bonehead in trying to explain this to the those I consider must know !!!

4. People take me joking when am serious and serious when am seriously joking!! - but that hurts when my dear ones also do that.

5. Have always felt NO one knows me or would know me.

6. I take life as it comes, but looking back i feel i was the one who made my life as good as it is now!!!

7. I am a self-made person. Learned a lot from my surroundings and owe it all to the wonderful books i read as a young student. Even now, it only takes a little interesting quote to bring me back to my senses.

8. I have always believed and followed 'the secret' (without knowing its existence) until the book came out!!!

9. I am easily hurt. But that'll last not even for a time period we call 'instant'.

10. I love meeting new people and making friends (but can never at places i feel the friendship could look obligatory even tho it is not e.g I got hardly a handful of friends from my work place).

11. People say i talk a lot - I am easily irritated by people who dont, can i afford to live irritated with myself?? But I get entirely shut down by people who talk as good as i do!! Hoping to get over that syndrome since time immemorial!!

12. I wanna live life fully. New things every moment. New places every time. New work often. Never repeat what either I or someone else has done already. I can never accept myself follow someone else's path. Even if i do, there would be something really distinct that would make it my way!!! 'Passion to make a Difference' - probably this is why I was so impressed and found my way into my first job at my then dream firm!!

13. There are no two people I can respect, love, hate, fight with, be angry at, cuddle with and think of on earth as much as I my two little kids - my parents.

13. I always used to imagine (or even believe) in school dayz that my parents are watching my every act in class thro some hidden cam. Probably I wished they did. And again probably thats why NOW I click so many pics - to capture my every moment for them to cherish!!

14. My acts are known not to just someone.. literally even a person whom I have known just for 5 min would know as much about me as years old friends. There can never be something about me not known to at least someone. Ill either tell and do or do and tell !!

15. I would be made the comedian where ever i go - and u know what ?? - i love that!!

16. Two sayings changed my entire thought process -
"It is no use keeping in mind things that can be easily got out of textbooks" (and internet)
- Albert Einstein
"Please please do not read if you cannot remember what you read"
- someone i met somewhere
So consequently there went the only two jobs I was good at.

17. I lost entire interest in my life, studies, job, competitive spirit, love, art, movies, music, studies again, books, friends, places and even food - only when i started searching for the real meaning of life , love, 'who i am' and existence. ( So i stopped it - but the tremendous loss is yet to be recovered and has left an emptiness deep within me )

18. I respect people for who they are rather than for what they are - have friends from every strata of life. Have always believed even the worst human could be befriended with a little of 'me'.

19. I have done more thinking in the past six months than all my past days put together. I have learned so much in and about 'life, living and people' since the day i stepped into this country. Also i noticed that i lost interest in the little things of life - rain in India used to be my friend. Excitement is something i last remember when i first traveled out of my country. But I have never been happier about myself than this one good thing i did to myself!!

20. Irony is always people who adore me are either not in my family or not in my house !! So My family consists more of my friends than blood related ones.

21. I am very bad in understanding people and trust everyone very easily.
I stopped trusting anyone cause no one is worth it - partially because I lost trust in myself.
I trust no one but myself always.

22. I always used to redo my work in school so many times that i hoped sometime in life i would not wish to relive(redo) it!! I love to be the girl I was in school - with the maturity i have now.

23. I am comfortable in excelling at things that I am forced not to do and those without a deadline. I terribly hate even the slightest demanding or ordering tone from anyone and would do the exact opposite even if it is what i most wanted to do ( "don't study" and "bunk school" are the words my mom most used all my school days ) .

24. People say am a perfect scorpion tho i always wished they could tell me what they meant by that!!

25. I love my date of birth 31st October 1985. It seemed very significant (to me at least) and have thanked myself(yes myself) so much for not being born on any other day or month or year. But till few years back I have always met up with something unhappy that happened on on around that date. I also had this dogma that every even year (1994, 1996...) I would have something most embarrassing to shame me for a lifetime and I used to be expectant of it. (thankfully that cycle seemed to have stopped)

26. To me, money is just a paper with more value(even when i have it or don have it). I rather have friends and coupons to a hotel, shop or theater than cash. (barter system still makes sense to me and am sure i would work more if not for just money)

27. I always loved or hated something. Only now in the process of learning to hang somewhere between the two emotions.

28. I love to play the piano, do special art (not just drawing and painting), swim and work out - first three my mom would take blame for not allowing me when i wanted to learn, last one - like hell.. everyone has the same problem - its not just me who doesn't work out!!

29. I have never understood the concept of suicide. God is the only being that you are answerable to. So whats the point in killing oneself?? - u can kill only your bodily life on earth. And you will only get to meet HIM earlier in the process of the soul - might as well stay and see what more HE has in store for you on earth than jumping off into another world even without knowing whats in store for u either there or here!!! Also talking logic and not metaphysics - we are all humans - just another animal on earth with supposedly more intelligence(by that we mean we do things other animals do not or cannot do). Why get scared of consequences that do not count in the huge history of evolution and kill oneself?? Now don't tell me its the survival of the fittest!!! I rather live in some corner of the earth rather than get killed either by myself or by someone else for either money or love(which are the only two reasons any killing is rooted).

30. I used to be patriotic. But now I am not. That doesn't mean i don't love my country(yeah i really don't). I rather love people and believe in humanity. I feel sad for all soldiers both in India and Pakistan, Middle East and the US. Poverty is not confined to India (so i alter my idea of working towards eradicating poverty in India alone to wherever poverty exists).
I can never tolerate negative thoughts or people who emanate negative energy about them !!
I have extended up to 30 points and still feel there is more to say. The last few points are long enough because i wanted to say more with little extra points. Also I believe this is the only notes in which I have at least tried to use punctuation as it should be used and have said more than i have ever said to anyone all my only Life!!!

'A WedNeSDay'

2008-12-02T17:08:00.001-05:00

hey did u watch 'A Wednesday'?? its such a nice movie... thats the comment my friends gave me.. hmm interesting name... and finally i did watch ... probly if i had watched this movie as soon as my friends suggested it, it might not have had that much of an impact as NoW!! Yes... i watched it less than a week after the terrifying Mumbai attacks.

It was just another day at home.. busy preparing for my exams and working on the never ending assignments.. and suddenly i get a call from my friend (from NY) - "hey there has been a blast in many places in mumbai... also terrorists have opened fire on innocent commoners" - there came in a voice of mixed feelings - fear, anxiety, sympathy and a little humanity. To me.. just like millions of other Indians inside and outside the country - "oh my gawd!!! - not again!!! " All i could imagine was a market, a common building, a theater - fallen into ashes.. ambulance... people cryin for loved ones... debris and high-on-alert(but helpless) police with walkie-talkies.. 'why always the common man??? why always the markets where helpless middle-class mothers go for buying groceries for their beloved kids? why the theaters where a group of kids , ruffly my age, get together to have some fun? .. why a park where old people and children play their evenings out??? why?? why?? ' .. but there came the surprise.. it was not just the common people... it was the higher strata of commoners that were focussed on this time.. then came the question - "WHY??????????????????"

Its been almost a week... lives lost and lives rescued... am not here to blame the government for how inefficiently the situation was handled (on a personal note, our police, NSG, ATS and every Mumbaiker did an excellent job given the arms, facilities and freedom they are given in their work), or to find a reason wat the terrorists around the world are upto - am pretty sure they are also trying to find the asnwer to the same question.. i dont believe any man who has taken the path of antagonism has come forward to explain his stand to the common man- thats because they know they cannot!! All they do is either brainwash the weaker souls or instill nothing but bloodshed and rivalry since birth.. of late i have come to think that these so called humans who live such a cursed life are also grown like hybrid chkn in a poultry.. just that thier farms take human blood as its manure.

Now,i feel tagging them a terrorist, a radical, an assassin is inapropriate for a commoner like me.. i prefer referring them to as 'UnFOrtunates'. Its not that fortune has landed them in such a life.. but they are people who have made our days less fortunate.

Earlier i believed these UnFOrtunates brought about their rage on the commoners as they were deprived of their rights, had less money, were illiterate, loners, had some sorrowful life, society was unfair with them or at least fled from an unloving family life. However i gather that such mass destruction, precisely planned attacks, such a well-trained army of men, expensive ammunition, hi-fi equiptment, influence to bring support to all these activities is not possible by the earlier assumed UnFOrtunates.

And i still do not comprehend WHY??????? FYI i DO NOT want to also.

As a child, watching movies of national interest like 'Roja', 'Indian', 'RDB' i would feel a gush of fresh blood run all through my body, patriotism at its peak and would duel anyone who spoke ill of my motherland(yeah just like everyone else). But all these feelings would fade away once out of the theater(again like everybody else). It was only later i realised patriotism is also only a feel- just like happiness, love, pathos - all that we watch in movies and can hold on to our minds till those train of thoughts persist. In this age, anyone who talks of patriotism as his passion - is just like a teen madly in his new love... with age- it would also change into something of less regard.(except if u are a politician) :P

These days more than patriotism ..fear seems to take a parade.. just this morning a very sweet driver of my bus started singing songs for his passengers - but guess wat was running behind everyones mind?? - is he a psychopath .. is he gonna shoot us? is he gonna captivate our bus? are we gonna explode?? -all this just for 'if ur happy and u know clap ur hands' song. Even innocent strangers are suspected to be the most expected UnFOrtunates. Why even now i am scared to publish this blog - wat if some UnFOrtunate reads this gets angry and shoots my head off??? No.. its not funny.. not funny anymore!!!!

'Humanity' - i believe should be the catchword of this age. Its not because it is everywhere.. it is because it is not be be found anywhere (except in moral science classes ). Have we ever given a thought about the third person?? Angry? - show it on others.. Sad? - take a toll of others lives.. depressed? - buy a gun.. boozed? - hit and run ... bored? - go join an outcast gang and plant bombs all over the world... If u wanna clean the world... get into the dirt and work hard to get rid of it(the dirt.. not lives). HumaNiTy is also a Feel... NoT just a Feel if u start to Believe. If a small set of UnFOtunates could start a cult of battue, its not gonna take long for the entire 'yet so fortunate' people to start Believing. Believe in URself, believe in LiFe, believe in HappineSS, believe in ur fellowBeings, believe in Peace and a better WoRld lies ahead ( of course...after every attack they lose quite a number of UnFOtunate members - who knows.. in the EnD they might be left with none at all ).

Hmm anyways its just a blog. Am also one of the commoners who has all these qualms, worries and fears... am also the same helpless commoner.. but am happy at least i blogged my frustrations .. this is not intended to awaken the human in anyone.. its just that the voices within me could not be quitened.. at least let my blog shout the mournings of the voices deep down and as a person who believes a lot in humanity, love, care and most of all - faith in fellow human beings... i just call to my friends... please change ur attitude... this is my first call to u all..... !!!

ThE ReTuRN to InnOcEnCE

2008-11-29T15:20:00.001-05:00

Yes of course.... after the most kiddish blog - hello i was an amateur.. not that i am not now.. but still it was a good start.... but i think its been almost 3 months since i made that entry... and looking back or rather looking at who i am now..what i have turned into .. surely time and life are the greatest tutors ever existent.... was i so very innocent when i landed here??? was i so so ignorant in my life back home?? oh my gosh - wat would have come upon me if i just held on to that life ~ disaster.... my entire living would have become totally pointless and infact useless.

Wow !! I have never before loved myself and thanked myself for the decisions i have made ( cause i know how well i suck at it!!) but for this one good good far more than good decision of taking up a master's. Be it for studyin or not - i love myself for the most daring decision.

And guess wat - i am getting to learn so much day in and day out that i would have missed out on all of these if not for UF!!

Ok let me make this clear .. why do people always get the negative connotation when i say "i learned a lot - and not just academically" .. blv me i had a couple of "omg wat went wrong!!!" comments when i had this as my status message.. come on guys.. has the world turned so pessimistic about even little things???

Guess what - the first thing i realised when i got here??? - i am a born cook!!! man i rock .. any of my friends reading this blog is welcome home for the most delicious meal!!! :) But the irony is i opted for a master's fearing wedlock - and the main reason i feared was i din wanna cook for some stupid fella all my life!!!!!! crazy aint it???

Hmmm.... but somehow i feel that innocence which i possessed back home - was more than fun.. i had people to care for and people who cared for me ( at least thats wat i bvd was true since i was pathetically ignorant ).. it was a very shallow living... never cared to think deep into anything around me. It is said that to understand the depth of any situtation all u gotta do is step out of it - easy na?? but thats most difficult - now i am far from my home.. and learnt it a very hard way to see things from the outer... just walk out of one's own life and look at it .. trust me - mine sucked big time... gosh how could i have been so blind.. there are so many things i could have done had i not wasted time in unnecessary things.... since my childhood .. now that i wanna relive my life.. my entire life... go back to 1985 and set all things that arent right... get the best out of the one life god has bestowed upon me.. who knows... I mite never happen on this earth again.. and already 23 yrs have gone by...

I wanna do something which my heart wants to do the most.. and start a career in such an obssessive field... but the bad thing is i love cooking and art.. and i realised that only too late... am already pursuing a career far beyond my ability... should have given it a thot back home.. !!! But no harm... the best time was 5 years back... but the second best time is now!!!! I can always have two professions :)

Hey the best thing about this country am in is the freedom .. freedom of thought .. which i strongly blv lacked majorly in my undergrad.... what if such a freedom was available since we were kids??? wow wouldn my country be having the best einsteins and gates' ???? A country with people who can tink induvidually.. who can create and innovate and not buy foreign stuff... who dont look upon another nation as tho they are gods... not jsut keep bragging about a glorious history and start working in the present??? wow!!! thats wat India is to me... it must be a nation of people with great intelligence and initiative. Blind patriotism in the name of road protests and cheap politics and indifferent citizens - root cause - education. By education we mean learning.. but real education is in the doing... dont we learn more out of practice than from exams?? We have the cream of people in our country... as kids..as teens... and their entire thots are wasted on mugging textbooks and writing exams based on a 100 page textbook. Any question with a conjunction changed is also considered out of syllabus - guys wat on earth is syllabus when it comes to learning??? its a never ending limitless process.. i dont ask people to know everything.. but give them the freedom to do some out of the box thinking.. let exams test ur ability to think and understand.... and not ur ability to memorize... students must be able to bring about a clarity of thot!!!!!! not confused concepts from local author texts!!!! - trust me this kinda education is worse than illiteracy.. it makes us slaves to people who can think new ideas!!! Why else you think our entire nation has just a handful of business tycoons, millions of employees and not the other way round????

Am not the usual NRI who brags all good things about where i am and detests my own nation.. I love my motherland and want only the best to happen to her.. am also one of the few who wants to bring about a change and not just sit behind and blame others!!!! Am just blogging now.. who knows this mite even be the first step to the change i count on bringing about.

I can go on... cause all i learnt.. about education, books, music, countries, people, My people (and thats wat i value the most cos this is directly related to my everyday life) ,.. is all invaluable... and cannot be put in just one blog.... and am sure its time to start studyin - after all am here to do that aint i?? so cya guys!! meet ya in my next blog!!

SaLI 2 viLLe

2008-09-05T02:24:00.001-04:00

Have u seen 2 skies ?? One above , travelling into the limitless universe, & one below, stretching like a veil over Mother Earth's surface....

..You got it ~ am On aIR .. wow !!

The journey which started on a bed of diamond & golden sparkles , I din't realize my new hot cHeNNaI looks even more adoring from above.. WoW again .. what a sight - late into the nite, past 2.30am ...

Now let me give you a detailed account of the entire journey at a height of 32000ft above sea level, munching some 'LiLy o'Brien's' double chocolate chip cookie, happily listening to my tunes in my new player( my latest acquisition ).. mmmmmm..delicious...heavenly ( considering the height ), & the cookie embedded with choco chips coated in a thick layer of authentic chocolate...mmm... hey wait.. this is also a part of my travelogue.. so don't attribute it to my food fondness :)

Before I begin - a nOte :

vOlvI deserves only Business class (not maybe out of caliber but sure shot out of his height) :P

mAn..my flite from cHennAi aNNa inTnL to PaRis cHaRleS dE GauLle would have been nothing but an upgraded hi-fi SVCE bus travel if not for my window view & aRun to keep me occupied all way for more than 10hrs.

gUess wat's the best part of the ntire trip - a pukka mokka gang inclusive of mr.IdLy's thala - pRadeEp , jUstiCe sWaminaThan , kaDala ( d now nAmed ) fOreiGn fIguR arUn , siLent adItya & d 'kInG kHan' sUraNa (my gOd he knows more tamil than i do) .

Fortunate or unforutnate i was seated with a French guy - stop..stop.. an ordinary old mokka fella - so switched his place with a better mOkka ~ aruN :P lolz.

d nTire fun staRted with arun :

male steward ( on our entry ) :- "where are you heading to ?" ( with an InvIting looK at arun )
thala arun :- "41A" 'bulbssssssss'

FYI thala had an intimate session with the guy & a mokka french figure(gal this time which lasted till charles de gaulle)

nOw that we know the characters i'll delve into the landscapes we flew over.Those wer countries i remember reading only in my geography & history classes - Iran , Saudi , Egypt , Athens , Rome ,Venice , Milan (ya ya FtV) ........ PARIIIIIIIISSSSS - & guess wat we first spotted when landing - PARIS 'HILTON' :D ( na...na...the Hilton groups of hotel ). Such a beautiful view - was like a huge stretch of parquet flooring & thats the fields , roads around Paris . Really loved the city ( yes cos of the guys so "haute" ).

I also spotted the Nile , pYramIDs & a huge stretch of gRaNd cAnYon look alike location ( sans its height ) & d al rOmaNtic eIfFel toWeR too [ hey its my blog & I DID SEE THEM ALL :) ]

Luckily all flights offered me a comfortable view at its wings apart from the earth below. "The flite does not have a right phelange" - phoebe in F.R.I.E.N.D.S - kept running in my mind everytime i saw the flaps open and close with altitude change.

Heyy...guess wat .. we barely missed a crash with another jEt ( not jet airways - the real jet plane ). It just went whoooshhh some 100mts above my plane perpendicular to my seat...ghosh i could see the fumes like a fence of smoke. So that accounts to the adventure part :)

Added flavour to my journey were Cameron Diaz's 'What happens in Vegas' (2b showed next in our g@toR nite) & the all time favourite "F.R.I.E.N.D.S."

cHecK my album to envisage our trip rite from chennai to gnv